Wedding Planning (Part 2)

This is a continuation of the previous Wedding Planning (Part 1) post. I am aware that the wedding is over as I type this, but since I kepo said “part 1,” I must follow up with a part 2, right? Besides, the whole wedding planning journey was a very new experience, which I think is worth jotting down lest I forget what it was like once the years have passed and the time comes when I have to plan a sister’s wedding (very likely event with 3 sisters). I suppose I could have blogged during the process, but heck, who has time for that? As if planning isn’t stressful enough.

Anyway, since the last post, here are some of the things that have changed since then. Side note: Because the wedding is over, I also added some tips/links whenever relevant.

1) Created the wedding programs and guestbook from scratch

Yup! Budget weddings are all about DIYs after all. I wanted my invitations, website, save the dates, wedding programs, and guestbook to have a uniform look. This is a minor detail, but I can be very picky sometimes. There are a bunch of online printing companies with gorgeous template packages, but I didn’t like the price. I wasn’t too keen on spending hundreds of dollars on a card(s) people are going to toss after (or even before!) the wedding. Picture yourself taking out hundreds of dollars, waving it to the crowd, and then tossing it in the trash just to impress people with your wealth. Yeah, not happening for frugal and somewhat broke ol’ me. 

At the same time, I didn’t want my DIYs to look too tacky. Good thing I know how to work Photoshop and Illustrator, and John knows HTML/CSS. Designed, printed, and cut all paper stuff by with the home printer and a paper cutter, with the exception of the wedding invitation cards. The design for the invitations required more work, but John's dad had a pal in the printing business who wanted to print them as a gift!

The wedding invites were printed in gold foil. How lovely of them! Didn't get a shot of the cover though. 

The wedding program. See how the fonts match the invitations? Yeah, I'm picky like that.

Our loose-leaf "guestbook". We figured giving out individual pages would ensure that everyone gets a chance to sign it at their own pace, and that no one would forget to sign it on their way out (I am that person at weddings. Oops).

John did the website. The best thing about DIY? Freedom to personalize. Stamped “J+A” all over our guestbook just cuz I can. Printer ink cost: less than $10, cardstock paper: $5 for 93 pieces, time: maybe 5-10 hours for designing, printing, and cutting? About the same amount of time considering you’d probably take a few hours deciding what template you like most online, and then waiting for turnaround and shipping time. Can’t say the same if you choose one of those fancy card designs with ribbons and layers though. Those cost way more $$ and time. I went with simple but classic, a.k.a the lazy route.

2) Final head count of food and appetizers

Getting this one out of the way was very frustrating. I am the type who likes to cross things off a list asap, especially if the list is growing too long! However, this is one of those items where you just have to WAIT for people to respond. And even after they do, you have to make the right call on how much extra you should order. Since we were doing buffet style, we were worried that some guests might change, or even forget, their order at the last minute. What if they take a beef plate instead of a chicken plate if it looks more appetizing?

Image stolen from Google. But look at those beef ribs!

To be honest, we didn’t think this would be a problem in the U.S. where people are not as kiasu and “thick-faced”, but the restaurant coordinator said she’s seen many people changing their orders during catering events  because Phil’s BBQ’s beef ribs are super-sized and people cannot tahan must grab. Order too much and leftovers will go to waste (we were going on our honeymoon soon after), not enough and you’re a bad host. But in the end, we said, “screw it all,” because we can never predict the outcome either way. If we run out, just gotta order more on the spot. What other choices did we have?

3) Met with florist/decorator for the final rundown

So glad my sister found this décor guy! Aside from the fact that he cuts down having to deal with an extra vendor by doing both flowers and linen/décor, he is very affordable! Ali and his wife do all the set-up and tear down on their own, and only rely on word of mouth for “advertising”, thus cutting down the cost! They’re very flexible and easy to work with, too! The only drawback is that they have a very distinct style/setup, so if you’re looking for something more creative or rustic, you might have to try someone else. If you like elegant/fancier styles without breaking the bank, and are located in San Diego/LA, try them out! They are so confident they have the best price that if you find someone cheaper, not only will they price match but beat it by 10%. No, they didn’t pay me to advertise them, lol. I am just one happy customer. Link: http://www.excellentdesigns.org/

4) Drafted and finalized the wedding day timeline

This one was no easy task, but if someone tells you that creating your own wedding day timeline is impossible, it’s not. Everyone, i.e. family members, friends, and wedding bloggers/website, highly encouraged us to get at least get a wedding-day-of coordinator  if we couldn’t afford a full-time coordinator who would walk us through the whole planning process, but even that costs a whopping $850 and more. All these little things ADDS up. If you have a smaller budget like mine, your best interest is probably to create the timeline on your own (or find a very organized and reliable friend/relative). This website is very helpful if you have no idea where to start: http://apracticalwedding.com/spreadsheets/. Make sure you check out other stuff on the website as well, but this links to the super useful/helpful spreadsheets. A very good advice someone gave me was to plan out your whole day in 5-10 minute intervals whenever possible (no joke), and you will be able to cover every possible scenario without any surprises. That means your timeline will look similar to this:

12:00 – Limo arrives
12:10 – Everyone gets into limo
12:20 – Arrive at Balboa park
12:25 – Couple photoshoot starts
12:35 – Bridal party photoshoot starts

Avoid general timelines like “12:00 noon – 12:35 pm: Photoshoot”. You will think to yourself 35 minutes is plenty of time for a photoshoot, and will most likely cause you to delay, e.g. “Oh, lemme fix my hair more”, “Lemme apply one more coat of mascara”, etc. I have organized large scale events such as retreats and outreach programs in the past, and I still find breaking down the times quite challenging. But, everything worked out and I saved myself $850 or more. You could argue that maybe a coordinator could save me the $500 on a limo to work out rides, but that’s still $350 less, and gave room for my friends and families to be more relaxed.  Just gotta weigh the pros and cons before making your decisions. Or you could be more free-spirited and spontaneous. I am kind of a stick-in-the-mud type bride, lol. I guess I could have been more spontaneous, but I didn't want guests to wait hours past the printed time just for a ceremony or reception to start, even if they know I'm busy. Ah, there I go again. At least dear husband is super fun and balances me out? Lol. But anyway, still a good habit to always keep your guests in mind as you flesh out your timeline.

5) Booked a Hummer Limo

This was a very, very last minute and very costly decision. As I was running through the wedding timeline for the 100th time, I started to think that getting all 10 people from the wedding party to Balboa Park from the hotels (for photos) on time in separate cars was too unrealistic, so I considered having a limo save us the trouble. Even though many family members and friends were willing to coordinate rides, the idea of having to deal with a dozen phone calls if things went wrong was nerve-wrecking to me, especially if I couldn’t carry a cell phone with me all day. Unfortunately, limos don’t charge by trips but by the hour, and run from $500-$700 for a three to four hour block. We only needed the limo for two trips, but the minimum hour block you can book is 3-4 hours. I debated if coordinating rides was a bad idea after all, but seeing how we’re paying the photographer way more, we would make a bigger loss if bad transportation coordination ruined our photo session. Besides, I’ve never ridden in a limo before. And so, the hole in our wallets continued to grow.

Look at that giant limo! Photo creds: Husband's BIL

6) Cancelled the tea-ceremony

Mom insisted that a tea ceremony is essential to any Chinese wedding because it shows respect. I am not proud to say that I find this ceremony very pointless, other than the fact you get ang pows. Yes, I am detached from my roots, you can go ahead and criticize and lecture me (even though my mom already did).  I was very reluctant to have the ceremony since 1) I couldn’t fit it into my timeline 2) No relatives of mine could make the wedding 3) The husband’s parents didn’t really care for it. I don’t understand the significance of showing respect by serving tea. We don’t even drink tea on a regular basis, couldn’t we show respect by, you know, actually serving and caring for them on a daily basis? The parents were very insistent I’d have one because if I didn’t, my sisters would follow suit, and the tradition would die out. I’ll be honest and say that I was quite annoyed that I have to set an example (I didn’t care for) and whatnot just so they can use me as an excuse for my sisters to have one in the future? I acknowledge that I’m selfish for thinking that way but I’d rather not argue about it right now. Given that my younger siblings are so Americanized, I am convinced that my younger siblings would not have a tea ceremony regardless if I set an example. Older sis on the other hand straight up told them she wouldn’t have one. So, why do I still have to set an example?

7) Dress fitting!

Got my dress fitted for alterations. At this point, I had lost 15 lbs since I bought the dress and needed some major alterations. Seamstress needed to take the bodice in by two inches, and needed to hem the dress because I’m wearing kitten heels (the husband is shorter than I am). Almost died from shock when she said it’d cost $400 for alterations and pressing. Good thing I bought the dress for 70% off, otherwise I’d REALLY need to get a new wallet…or deeper pockets. Might have been able to find another seamstress for cheaper, but I wasn’t sure if I could find someone else I trusted since the current seamstress has 5-star ratings on Yelp. Alterations were important to me, considering I had a strapless dress. Don’t really want that slipping down all day…and if the dress doesn’t fit well, I’d be walking around uncomfortably all day. 

8) Ordered my veil from China for only $40!

This is actually quite exciting news. If you have never shopped for veils before, then you will be surprised to find that veils cost around $150 - $800++, depending on length, cut, beading, lacing, and edging. No kidding. I almost flipped out when I heard the price. How in the world are bridal boutiques allowed to charge so much for a piece of tulle?! You can technically make your own veil for around $15 - $20 if you are craftier than I am. I was at the point where I got sick of DIY-ing my stuff and didn’t want to take any more risks in case I messed up, so I forked out an extra $20 to some Chinese lady in Hong Kong to make it instead. Hey, better than having the angmohs overcharge me by hundreds. Not a bad price for a cathedral length veil!

9) Dance practice (major fail)

Since we were going for an Americanized wedding, the wedding couple’s first dance together as husband and wife is a very typical part of the reception. John is a dancing machine. I have never danced--at least I don’t think nodding your head or jumping counts as dancing. The first dance is just an easy slow dance, and I can keep a beat so I figured this would be a piece of cake even if I don’t dance. Turns out John cannot keep beats. Wth lah, I thought dance machines should be good at keeping beats? But the song was very slow and he was way too stiff. The worst part is that we only practiced once, since we were apart for the whole six months of planning. I would’ve canceled the dance, if we didn’t discover how uncoordinated we were the night before the wedding. XD Oh well.

Other thoughts and comments: 

Of course, the actual list extends far beyond this, but the ones listed above were the most important, memorable, or stressful of the lot. There are so many details that go into wedding planning that the average Jane would never think of…unless you’re one of those who dream of your wedding day as early as age 6 (even then, I bet you haven’t stopped to think about the boring part like making your guest sitting plan, taking notes on what gifts people gave, or booking accommodations…all the nitty gritty). 

More often than not, your main struggle is with close family members and friends who have different input and ideas of how your wedding should be. As a matter of fact, some of the people who were very close to us kept giving us the impression that they thought our wedding would be lackluster if we “cheapen” out so much on everything. Some even suggested that we should postpone the wedding until we are wealthy enough to go grand. I don’t believe they said these things out of spite but rather out of genuine concern, but yes, I had to learn to deal with this kind of inadvertent hurtful feedback. If I had to sum up what wedding planning is like in one word, I’d say it’s overwhelming. I had my fair share of fun, but I’ve also had many, many, stressful days. I have thought of eloping more than I’d like to admit.

So, was it worth it?

Perhaps.

Because honestly, no matter how much planning you do, nothing can beat the joy of making a covenant with the person you love. Everything else is just icing on the cake. :)