Depressed
After spending these two months with my family and away from my school friends, I think I really don't like my "friends" after all. I don't even know if they are my friends. For the most part, it's just them talking and me listening. Perhaps it's my fault for not opening up cuz friendship takes two to build, but I really don't feel like opening myself up to them. They're not people I can trust. I think, for me, I find it hard to have true/close friends. I'm not the type who enjoy having lots of friends either. Another thing about me is I don't trust girls and I don't have many "girl-friends". I limit them to one or two. Mostly because girls gossip too much?
Anyway, after spending almost 2 years in the States, I realize the people I still think about most are Siu Gin, Faustina, Yeh Tung, and sometimes Ban Chieng (not really close to her, but she's sometimes part of the group I hang out with). I think those girls are the only girls I've ever come to trust and open up to. In the past, most of my "girl-friends" are people whom I thought I trusted a lot, and I still believe I did trust them, but perhaps not as much as these girls. Also, these girls are crazy! (like me) and loud (well, mostly Siu Gin anyway, but I love her for that), so I think I can be more like myself around them without having to worry about being too "weird" or "embarassing" to them.
But there comes a time in life where everyone has to split up. Some would leave you, and some would stay. In my case, I was the one who left them (not very willingly I might add) but I heard that all of them would eventually end up in their own separate ways.
I miss Kuching. =(
I only have a year left in my high school, but I kind of dread going back. I wonder if I'll ever make friends like Siu Gin or Faus or YT again, esp in a school like mine. Although most people would imagine that my main obstacle in making friends is because of racism, I assure you it is not. My school is just...ghetto. It's no GRSS where bengs and lians are minimal (as compared to mine anyway). And besides, after coming to my school, bengs and lians are completely harmless creatures (well, almost). My school is just...downright freaky, okay? But I survived.
Well, after saying so many negatives about my school, I guess I should at least point out that education here is much much better as compared to the ones in Malaysia. Teachers here are passionate about teaching. It's too bad the students don't feel the same way. But I really like and appreciate my teacher's hard work and effort.
Gah, senior year. -_- Then there's graduation and Prom and Grad Night. I wonder if I'll be okay. I hope I will. Bless me in my senior year!
K, gotta give Hannah a hair dye now cuz her previous dye sucked. Btw, I now have BROWN HAIR! Yeah, I know I'm talking like it's a big deal but it IS! Cuz i did it myself! Wahaha. *gloats*
K..bye!
Anyway, after spending almost 2 years in the States, I realize the people I still think about most are Siu Gin, Faustina, Yeh Tung, and sometimes Ban Chieng (not really close to her, but she's sometimes part of the group I hang out with). I think those girls are the only girls I've ever come to trust and open up to. In the past, most of my "girl-friends" are people whom I thought I trusted a lot, and I still believe I did trust them, but perhaps not as much as these girls. Also, these girls are crazy! (like me) and loud (well, mostly Siu Gin anyway, but I love her for that), so I think I can be more like myself around them without having to worry about being too "weird" or "embarassing" to them.
But there comes a time in life where everyone has to split up. Some would leave you, and some would stay. In my case, I was the one who left them (not very willingly I might add) but I heard that all of them would eventually end up in their own separate ways.
I miss Kuching. =(
I only have a year left in my high school, but I kind of dread going back. I wonder if I'll ever make friends like Siu Gin or Faus or YT again, esp in a school like mine. Although most people would imagine that my main obstacle in making friends is because of racism, I assure you it is not. My school is just...ghetto. It's no GRSS where bengs and lians are minimal (as compared to mine anyway). And besides, after coming to my school, bengs and lians are completely harmless creatures (well, almost). My school is just...downright freaky, okay? But I survived.
Well, after saying so many negatives about my school, I guess I should at least point out that education here is much much better as compared to the ones in Malaysia. Teachers here are passionate about teaching. It's too bad the students don't feel the same way. But I really like and appreciate my teacher's hard work and effort.
Gah, senior year. -_- Then there's graduation and Prom and Grad Night. I wonder if I'll be okay. I hope I will. Bless me in my senior year!
K, gotta give Hannah a hair dye now cuz her previous dye sucked. Btw, I now have BROWN HAIR! Yeah, I know I'm talking like it's a big deal but it IS! Cuz i did it myself! Wahaha. *gloats*
K..bye!
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