Parents
Ah, parents. Sometimes they're a blessing, and other times they are like a thorn in your side.
I am always so grateful for having a dad who is wise, experienced, logical, calm, and level-headed. Whenever I need advice, I feel comfortable turning to him, knowing that he would always have a sound plan and course of action.
John and I were having a rough time between choosing houses to purchase, and our realtor at the time was pushing us hard to put up an offer for a property we really, really, liked but were on the fence about because of our financial circumstances. Sure, we could afford it, but do we want to knowing we wouldn't have any savings? Not really. Since the realtor said the market is really hot right now, and the house already has offers coming in, we needed to act fast. I was on the verge of putting in an offer either tonight or tomorrow morning, but after talking to my dad, he assured me that the right home wouldn't leave me feeling so anxious. If it's right, I would be at peace. He even said he suspected that realtor was probably one of the pushier ones, and to be careful to not act on persuasion.
Sure enough, he was right. When I called the realtor back to express my reluctance to bid higher than what I'm comfortable with, he began to cast doubts on our offer price, saying it'll be rejected and would lose the home of our dreams. And then he had the nerve to say, "Look, I know your parents are looking out for you, but let me ask you, how many years of real estate experience do they have? You have to make the decision on your own. You're gonna lose a home because you're listening to those with no experience."
How rude is that!? In that moment, I turned him down immediately albeit not explicitly. What infuriated me more was that this guy only had a year and a half of experience as a realtor! That is quite insignificant! Talk about a case of pot calling the kettle black. How dare he insult our parents' concerns and judgment? Yeah, they don't know the market, but they KNOW ME BETTER and what would make me HAPPIER, so yes, what they say is MORE IMPORTANT than your opinion about whether this house is my "dream house" or not.
At times like these, I can't help but feel parents are the best! What would I do without them? How do people who have estrange relationships with their parents, or people who have lost their parents deal with life's problems? Having parents are awesome!
Just then, John got off a phone conversation with his mom, and told me that she decided to change her mind yet again about renting her house to selling it. Which made me want to tear my hair out because we've long begun the process of preparing it for rent! I know I haven't talked about it at all in this blog, but basically, John's parents' house burned down in a fire last year, and was subject to reconstruction and remodeling. John and I have been taking charge of the whole project since the beginning, and we ultimately decided to rent the property out once the renovation was done since both sets of parents initially agreed that it would give them a substantial amount of monthly income. Now, this might come as a surprise to most, even to me at first, but a house built for rental and a house built for sale are completely different. For rentals, you generally want to use the cheapest but most durable materials (usually uglier) because renters don't tend to take care of things. So you go cheap on carpets, floorings, showers, countertops, cabinets etc. If the home is for sale, you do the opposite.
Obviously, preparing the home for sale is more costly, but in our case, we're able to renovate it either way since we had a sufficient budget. However, because his mom kept going back and forth on her decision, it ended up costing more to make changes accordingly....which is a complete waste of money imo. The worst that can happen is an unfinished house or a completed house with a lot of out-of-pocket costs. We've been trying to coerce her to sit down and talk things through logically and stick to a plan of action, but she simply wouldn't....yet she wanted us to handle all the logistics and changes according to her whims and somehow make it work...do you have any idea how frustrating that is?!
Even the contractor is giving up on us. T___T She quite blatantly told us that we need to stop making changes otherwise we would have eat up the cost. She was frank but polite, and positively annoyed. At this point, I don't really know what to tell the contractor because I quite honestly feel the same way. Being in charge of a project you're not really in charge of is simply the worst!
I wish his mom would just do it herself if she has so many qualms! Yet at the same time we can't just throw the project at her because 1) she doesn't know how to deal with an overwhelmingly large project such as this and 2) we are her children and must fulfill our filial piety obligation and what not.
At times like these, I think having parents that are stubborn yet frivolous is just so damn kang koh and soi. Things would just be so much easier if we didn't have to go through them you know? I know, I know, this is very politically incorrect, but I just cannot tahan okay! Had to vent!
I know I am quite stubborn also lah, but at least I'm not frivolous? Then again, maybe I will birth a kid who is damn frivolous and will write a blog post saying how stubborn and logical parents are the worst because they are no fun.
But see what I mean? Parents can the best thing ever when you need someone to rely on, but you are also kind of stuck dealing with their qualms and annoyances because they are not perfect, and you are theirslave child.
Sigh. Such a roller coaster of emotions in a single day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Disclaimer: I know I am using the MIL as an example of a "thorn in my side" situation, but my own mom and dad can fall into the same category as well. Ahem, read my wedding posts if you need a refresher.
I am always so grateful for having a dad who is wise, experienced, logical, calm, and level-headed. Whenever I need advice, I feel comfortable turning to him, knowing that he would always have a sound plan and course of action.
John and I were having a rough time between choosing houses to purchase, and our realtor at the time was pushing us hard to put up an offer for a property we really, really, liked but were on the fence about because of our financial circumstances. Sure, we could afford it, but do we want to knowing we wouldn't have any savings? Not really. Since the realtor said the market is really hot right now, and the house already has offers coming in, we needed to act fast. I was on the verge of putting in an offer either tonight or tomorrow morning, but after talking to my dad, he assured me that the right home wouldn't leave me feeling so anxious. If it's right, I would be at peace. He even said he suspected that realtor was probably one of the pushier ones, and to be careful to not act on persuasion.
Sure enough, he was right. When I called the realtor back to express my reluctance to bid higher than what I'm comfortable with, he began to cast doubts on our offer price, saying it'll be rejected and would lose the home of our dreams. And then he had the nerve to say, "Look, I know your parents are looking out for you, but let me ask you, how many years of real estate experience do they have? You have to make the decision on your own. You're gonna lose a home because you're listening to those with no experience."
How rude is that!? In that moment, I turned him down immediately albeit not explicitly. What infuriated me more was that this guy only had a year and a half of experience as a realtor! That is quite insignificant! Talk about a case of pot calling the kettle black. How dare he insult our parents' concerns and judgment? Yeah, they don't know the market, but they KNOW ME BETTER and what would make me HAPPIER, so yes, what they say is MORE IMPORTANT than your opinion about whether this house is my "dream house" or not.
At times like these, I can't help but feel parents are the best! What would I do without them? How do people who have estrange relationships with their parents, or people who have lost their parents deal with life's problems? Having parents are awesome!
Just then, John got off a phone conversation with his mom, and told me that she decided to change her mind yet again about renting her house to selling it. Which made me want to tear my hair out because we've long begun the process of preparing it for rent! I know I haven't talked about it at all in this blog, but basically, John's parents' house burned down in a fire last year, and was subject to reconstruction and remodeling. John and I have been taking charge of the whole project since the beginning, and we ultimately decided to rent the property out once the renovation was done since both sets of parents initially agreed that it would give them a substantial amount of monthly income. Now, this might come as a surprise to most, even to me at first, but a house built for rental and a house built for sale are completely different. For rentals, you generally want to use the cheapest but most durable materials (usually uglier) because renters don't tend to take care of things. So you go cheap on carpets, floorings, showers, countertops, cabinets etc. If the home is for sale, you do the opposite.
Obviously, preparing the home for sale is more costly, but in our case, we're able to renovate it either way since we had a sufficient budget. However, because his mom kept going back and forth on her decision, it ended up costing more to make changes accordingly....which is a complete waste of money imo. The worst that can happen is an unfinished house or a completed house with a lot of out-of-pocket costs. We've been trying to coerce her to sit down and talk things through logically and stick to a plan of action, but she simply wouldn't....yet she wanted us to handle all the logistics and changes according to her whims and somehow make it work...do you have any idea how frustrating that is?!
Even the contractor is giving up on us. T___T She quite blatantly told us that we need to stop making changes otherwise we would have eat up the cost. She was frank but polite, and positively annoyed. At this point, I don't really know what to tell the contractor because I quite honestly feel the same way. Being in charge of a project you're not really in charge of is simply the worst!
I wish his mom would just do it herself if she has so many qualms! Yet at the same time we can't just throw the project at her because 1) she doesn't know how to deal with an overwhelmingly large project such as this and 2) we are her children and must fulfill our filial piety obligation and what not.
At times like these, I think having parents that are stubborn yet frivolous is just so damn kang koh and soi. Things would just be so much easier if we didn't have to go through them you know? I know, I know, this is very politically incorrect, but I just cannot tahan okay! Had to vent!
I know I am quite stubborn also lah, but at least I'm not frivolous? Then again, maybe I will birth a kid who is damn frivolous and will write a blog post saying how stubborn and logical parents are the worst because they are no fun.
But see what I mean? Parents can the best thing ever when you need someone to rely on, but you are also kind of stuck dealing with their qualms and annoyances because they are not perfect, and you are their
Sigh. Such a roller coaster of emotions in a single day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Disclaimer: I know I am using the MIL as an example of a "thorn in my side" situation, but my own mom and dad can fall into the same category as well. Ahem, read my wedding posts if you need a refresher.
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