Ringing in the New Year -- 2018

Another day, another year. We've finally entered the first day of 2018. I guess today's technically the second day of the year as I type this, but eh, whatever. I had a good time spending the first day with Rena. We stayed up till 4am the night of the 31st of December marathoning through Spider-Man: Homecoming and the original Spiderman movie with Tobey Maguire...so we kinda woke up late and used up whatever remaining hours running last-minute errands. Probably a poor choice but FUN nonetheless. I really enjoy spending time with Rena because I don't really get a chance to bond with her now that we've all grown up and I'm married.

So now that the new year has started, what are some things I want to do differently? Also, were there any goals I've reached, any setbacks, any areas where I'd like to improve?

For starters, I've achieved my weight loss goal for 2017. I aimed to be 165 lbs by December 31st, but I've been maintaining 160 lbs. Hurrah! I'm not longer in the overweight zone and it feels great. I honestly feel a lot more confident and happier with how I look in my clothes. They don't look as stretched out and I feel myself again. 

I also passed my first actuarial exam, but was unable to complete the 2nd one. But I also discovered through my internship that an actuarial career isn't the best for me at this point in my life. (Post in another blog.) So in some sense, I did get the second goal checked off. 

The third resolution involved cooking more frequently and saving money on eating out. The result of doing so should set aside approximately $500 in savings a month. While I did meal prep dinner way more than I did in 2016, I'm not quite sure if I've reached my goal. According to some of my earlier blogposts on the other blog, I did quite well at the beginning of the year, but I had to move to my parents' home in San Diego and my in-laws home in Oakland for a good half of the year. So it's quite hard to say if I've been successful at achieving my goal, given that I did not have to cook much in the months that I was away from home and John. John mentioned that we were on track in saving the $500 for two-thirds of the year...but severely overspent in the following months (namely in November and October where there was a wedding in Seattle, Thanksgiving in San Diego, and Christmas with the Lee's). I suppose this is an area we need to continue improving on in 2018. 

Another resolution I failed at was to do more devotion and spend more time connecting with a church. I was doing well during the summer internship but lost track of time and fell out of my routine once it was over. John and I kept switching churches and struggled to find a community we could really connect with, so we regrettably weren't able to make any meaningful connections. We attempted to connect with a small group at Real Life church, but once the study sessions were over and the pastor was transferred, we somewhat fell out of touch with everyone there. We've only recently started going to a new church that seems slightly more promising in terms of fitting in, so I hope that things will change for the better this year. I really want to become a better church goer and also more rooted in Christ. I don't want to call myself a Christian yet remain so lukewarm in my relationship with God. 

In terms of keeping up with programming, I completely flunked that one. Aside from some programming I did during the internship, I really did not dabble into any projects to improve my skills. My Excel Workbook is mediocre at best. 

However, a new year means new chances to redeem past failures or mistakes. Under Rena's persuasion and encouragement, I got myself a planner for 2018. I'm not sure how much impact on my life it would have nor am I confident that I will put it to good use, but I will do my best. I don't know how to put it, but frankly, I've been feeling very complacent and lazy ever since my internship ended and I decided to end my pursuit of becoming an actuary. I guess I am still somewhat brooding over the fact that I don't have my life together anymore just when I thought I had everything set up. I should have been updating my resume and LinkedIn profile and applying to new jobs, but I kept procrastinating almost as if I didn't want to face the reality of the unknown. I knew what I had to do, but I just couldn't put any of it into action. Instead, I ended up playing a TON of games as a means of escape but also as a way of cherishing my freedom until school starts again. Or at least that's what I tell myself. Another part of me nags at me for wasting the time spent on Persona 5, Code: Realize, Norn 9, and Ace Attorney: Spirits of Justice that could've gone to brushing up my professional profile or academic skills. But I don't want to feel guilty for the pleasantly long break. I just saw a quote at Barnes & Noble today that said, "Wasting time doing something you enjoy is not time wasted" and scoffed at it, but I feel stupid right now for being so arrogant because I am essentially trying to justify my game time as much needed. Hah. That ISTJ personality and terrible "voice" of efficiency dwelling in me is the bane of my existence at times.

Argh, I dread going back to school, but I am also very displeased with my current state of being. How did I become so damn lazy when I am a Type A at the core? It almost feels as if my heart is being chained down by something like it did when I was 14 (before the time I prayed that prayer of deliverance from sloth). This isn't good. Perhaps I need to become more fervent in my prayer and spiritual life. 

Anyway, some things I'd like to aim for this new year is to get into a more routined lifestyle. I've gained a lot of new perspective of the working life at CSAA and I think implementing it into my daily life is not a bad idea. I'm thinking of setting up a "work life" to get more in tune with John's schedule. How plausible this new routine is, I'm not sure, since the school life's schedule and work expectations are not as clear cut as the workplace. But I'll give it a shot. So, some new things I'd like to try:

• Waking up at a fixed time everyday, shower, eat breakfast and go to the study room to check emails and to-do lists in my planner for the day. 
• Plan out my week in the planner daily in the morning before I go about my day and at night before I go to bed.
• Set "work" hours. A fixed 9-5pm kind of time-block set aside for school work.
• Set and make time for date nights. Time set aside strictly to bond with John. No loose compromises unless I am sick or there is some majorly significant project that needs to be done. This rule should force me to use my time more effectively so that date nights wouldn't be be forfeited to school work.
• Be less complain-y about John's cooking. Be more encouraging and more thoughtful in my speech.
• Make a stronger effort connecting/networking with people. Plan days to email or text people to remind them of you. Follow-up on their lives so they don't forget you. E.g.: Text Feng "Happy New Years!", wish people "Happy Birthday", or spend days just sending people a short greeting to show that you remember them. Compile a list of 10 people you want to do this for and keep at it.

With that said, I have some concrete and new fitness/life goals I'd like to achieve in 2018:

• Join Chinese Grace Bible Church for at least 6 months and be more involved with the small groups. 
• Complete at least 80% of the daily devotion plan.
• Hit a goal weight of 152 lbs.
• Do 10 real wide-arm push ups by the end of the year.
• Do a strict food budget once school is over (in June).

Anyway, time to sleep. Rena leaves tomorrow night. =( I'll need to make sure to cherish the last few hours before sending her off back to San Diego. Sigh, it was nice while it lasted. Perhaps I'll write another reflective post if time permits. This will do for now.