2018 Recap

In 2018, I...

...went back to school (a year and a quarter late) for my master's degree in statistics and hated almost every moment of it because it took a huge strain on my marriage.

...was unable to make many new connections at school because everyone I'd known graduated, and everyone from fall quarter were already acquainted and formed cliques.

...suffered through 3 meltdowns due to school-related stress and got severely sick 3 times in a span of 4 months (all during school).

...ended up having to postpone my master's graduation date due to restrictive administrative reasons and a lack of quality adviser support.

...lost 15 lbs but gained back 10 lbs because I burned my leg with hot oil while deep-frying croquettes and couldn't walk for over a month as a result.

...interviewed with my previous company, which I thought was my "ideal" company to work for, only to realize that it wasn't actually a good fit. And then I got depressed because I no longer had a job lined up.

...felt like I failed at achieving everything I had hoped for: Graduate in June with a pending job offer, getting fit and reaching my fitness goals, and enjoying a relatively stress-free and school-free life (at least for the 2nd half of the year) with John after 4 years of struggling to balance such different schedules and lifestyles.

I remember that for a good part of the year, I regretted almost all my life decisions from 2017 up till June 2018. One of the biggest regret was going for my master's because I felt my life was "wasting away" in school as I counted pennies for every purchase I made to afford tuition and school-related expenses. Yet everyone else was out there working and building a life and a career together with their spouses/significant other. 

But in trying to stay positive, I also realized that this past year I...

...joined a couples' enrichment/bible study group at Chinese Grace Bible Church and created friendships with some of the most amazing and supportive godly couples that actually saved John and my marriage through this difficult time. We have grown so much from just this one year of group study and socials.

...saw my sister, Diane, graduate with summa cum laude from Cal Poly Pomona and from the Kellog's Honor Challege.

...finally got eyelid surgery and had my ptosis fixed! I now also have parallel double eyelids. 

...witnessed my sister, Hannah, get married to her best friend, and I gained my first brother-in-law in the process.

...met Samantha--the only acquaintance/friend I had at Davis that year--and she lined me up with a Data Science job that not only had great benefits, but covered for relocation to SoCal. A job I'd never dreamed of getting on my own, especially when 200 other applicants applied within 3 days of the job posting and I had never even heard about it.

In just one moment, through just one person, everything that I thought was a loss turned around. Everything that seemed like a waste of time or money during the first three quarters of the year would become worthwhile if I end up being at this job for the next few years. Better yet, I somehow "achieved" my dream of moving back to SoCal and working in a field and position that I'd wanted much sooner than I'd expected, with all expenses paid!

As I type this, I recall a similar time in 2010 where Hannah and I had to quit school halfway through our first year at UC Davis for being suddenly categorized as "out-of-state" students and losing all our scholarships in the process. I questioned God what was the purpose of allowing us to go to UCD with a full-ride, only for it all to be taken away from us, and having to still pay for the out-of-state tuition fees. I was drained both emotionally and financially. I thought I gained nothing. But 4 years later, I ended up marrying the guy I met on my first day at UCD. The crazy thing was that he would have only been there for the same window of time I was there before I had to quit school. If I'd receive notification of my status being revoked sooner and joined UCD a year or two later when it cleared, we'd never meet.

From this reflection, I learned that a year is not enough time to access whether or not what we've done were entirely fruitful or meaningless. So no matter what your 2018 looked like, look forward to the future that God has promised you. Never give up hope, and always celebrate each day of life as a new opportunity to receive and live out God's blessings.

Amen.